October 4, 2015


39/52 {when it’s hard to feel grateful}

IMG_5054Holidaying for a week in a beautiful beach location, staying in a recently renovated caravan which had been lovingly loaned to us. Sounds idyllic. And thus I felt so ungrateful for not enjoying our first week of school holidays.

After a busy few weeks and never-decreasing to-do list, I had envisaged our week away in a caravan park to be the perfect antidote. No television, limited internet access, a beautiful beach and plenty of room for boys to go scootering. Bliss.

We struggled through the usual Love family holiday routine of finding far too many things to pack and declarations that we were never going on holidays again if it was that hard to get going, but we finally made it to Fingal on Sunday afternoon. It was a little rainy, but the weather reports promised blue skies ahead. Nicholas had been a little out of sorts and not particularly hungry, but seemed to be on the mend.

IMG_5112Monday delivered the blue skies, but by late morning, we were at the doctors in the nearby seaside town of Kingscliff with a feverish three year old. Thus began the week of Nicholas having high temperatures and rash over his torso, being very miserable during the day and so unsettled overnight, waking every hour on average. The doctor seemed to be very thorough but wasn’t exactly sure of the source, so we worked on the theory that it was a virus and hoped it would pass through quickly. It was very hard to see my normally very happy boy so sad though.

As the week progressed, the weather turned from blue skies to cold and blustery and we found ourselves stuck inside for much of it due to the wind. The boys did enjoy scootering around the caravan park, though, and made friends with some of the other children staying at the campground. We managed to sneak to the beach in moments where Nicholas seemed up to it.

IMG_5086 IMG_5093It wasn’t until Thursday we realised Nicholas had a middle ear infection, even though they’d appeared fine earlier in the week, when we saw evidence that his ear drum had perforated. We went back to the doctors, started on the correct medication and thankfully Nicholas was back to his happy self within two doses. And, just as we were high-fiving each other that we might finally get a good night of sleep, I realised that my slightly sore throat had turned into strep throat and spent most of the night awake. Sigh.

We were due to head back to Brisbane on Saturday, but we woke on Friday morning to rainy skies. I cried periodically for various and unrelated reasons, which is usually a good sign that I’m not feeling healthy. Feeling miserable and sleep deprived, we knew it was time to quit while we were behind and head home.

Having a “supernatural ability to live in the moment” and being the kind of person who tries to find the best in every situation, I did need a bit of coaching to help me admit we hadn’t had a great week and to know that it was okay to feel disappointed. I’m intrinsically programmed to feel grateful, so it seemed so unnatural for me not to have enjoyed a week of holidays. But I know sometimes the stars don’t align and kids get sick and things don’t always go to plan and it’s okay to just admit it was a crappy week.

Our homecoming was particularly wonderful and it was so nice to sleep in our own beds again on Friday night. As our floors had been polished while we were away, the boys particularly loved the floor sliding hilarity that ensued before we put all the furniture back in place.


There will be other beach holidays to enjoy, I have no doubt.

PS. Big thanks to my lovely brother and his beautiful wife for the loan of their caravan; and to our wonderful Kingscliff friends for their local knowledge and facing the blustery weather to meet us when we were miserable and at risk of sharing our germs. (One day we’ll have a successful playdate in your neck of the woods!) You guys are tops.




Joining in the 52 Project at Practising Simplicity ~ a portrait of my youngest boys every week in 2015.



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