January 18, 2015


2/52 {on the edge}

I probably need to put in a disclaimer that I love and adore my children. I really do. But I am tired. Physically, emotionally and spiritually drained from being their 24/7 beck-and-call girl for the past two months. I know that going back to school will just be a slightly different version of hard work, and I’ll miss the big boys when they are away each day, but I am also very aware that this mother is at breaking point and needs a little space right now. Just a little.

Oh, I don’t have high standards. I don’t expect to be achieving any of that elusive ‘me-time’ or such craziness while everyone is at home with me, but being able to unpack the whole dishwasher at one time or put on a load of washing downstairs without drama ensuing upstairs, or keeping one small area of the house clean and tidy? Oh, that sounds so dreamy right now.

Maybe it’s partly because Sam hasn’t been 100% the past few weeks and I overthink everything, perhaps it’s due to our first ever headlice infestation (and, hopefully, our very last – it totally tipped me over the edge), or maybe I’m just not doing it right, but lately this parenting gig has felt very very hard. Or maybe that’s just parenting.

But I’m trying to take deep breaths and enjoy little moments and embrace the mess. As Gretchen Rubin says, the days are long but the years are so short.

Seeing these beautiful faces on the screen while I know they are sleeping peacefully upstairs definitely helps.

52-2-1charlie: My little home body was so happy to have his special friend, Mikey, over to play while Sam went off to play with our Mikey’s brothers. Home Body and Social Butterfly both happy = win. 

52-2-2nicholas: We know from past experience that, for you, a new skill takes time to develop. While you are now able to walk independently, you still choose when and where you want to do it and some days you are braver than others. We know that you will do it in your own good time, but we are proud of how determined you are. We love watching your proud face when you show off your cleverness.

Joining in the 52 Project at Practising Simplicity ~ a portrait of my boys every week in 2015.


I am so grateful for your thoughts and comments, so please reply below.

  1. Annie,
    It sounds like you are doing an amazing job! 3 kids close together is really tough..really tough…I completely understand where you are right now! Every night you go to sleep completely wiped out, wondering if you’ll be woken up, and every morning you wake up thinking ‘do I really have to get up yet?’
    Each month that goes by is the end of one stage and the beginning of the next..time is flying, and it wasn’t that long ago that crying was the thing I did the most of…just completely overwhelmed with exhaustion. But then days roll into weeks, weeks into months, and before you realise it, all 3 boys will be at school, and you’ll be thinking “where have my babies gone?” I can’t believe Sophie is going into grade 5, Rose into 3 and Georgia into grade 1!!!
    If the me of now could talk to the me of then, I would say “just breath before you scream. Just close your eyes and count to 10 first, then take another look.” I know it’s really tough, but it will get easier!
    You are an amazing person with so many wonderful things to give! You will get through this!!
    Take care of yourself too, eat well, and enjoy that cheeky glass of something every so often! You deserve it! Xxxxxxxx

    1. Oh, you’re so lovely. Thank you for your kind words. I know that it will go by so quickly. Even having two at school feels a bit crazy, when just a little while ago I had three at home under 4! x

  2. No disclaimer required! Every mother, I am certain of this, has moments of being stretched too, too thin and wanting to be somewhere else, even just for a moment. The love is no less for feeling this way. You are human.

    And oh my, what beautiful humans you have made! Swoon.

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