As a mother of three boys, I always love meeting other mums who are part of that exclusive ‘all-boy’ club too. I was introduced to the lovely Peta when, together with my sister, Rebecca, and brother-in-law, Joe, they began the awesome 4 Blades Magazine. So, when I contemplated asking other bloggers to write about their experiences as mothers, especially with regard to having sons, daughters or a mix of both, I was delighted that Peta agreed to kick off the series by sharing a bit of her mum-of-all-boys story with us here. Thank you x
- Tell us a little about your family
My family consists of three hilarious, gorgeous, energetic, noisy boys. William is my 7 year old, Corbin is 6 years and Miller is 2 going on 20 (I often say he is a 20 year old trapped in a 2 year old’s body – he thinks he rules the family!)
We are a little different from traditional families. My older two children are from my previous marriage and we share custody of them. We have the older two boys every second week (50/50 arrangement).
I run my own business and co-own another from home so whilst the older two are at school, I am home with Miller.
- Before you became a mother, what gender combo did you picture your future family would have?
I always said I would have three boys. Once I had babies I changed that to four boys. We would love one more child. I see myself with another baby but not sure of the gender. A psychic once said I would have three boys and a girl. Come back to me in a couple of years and see if she was right!
- Did you find out the gender of your babies during pregnancy or when the babies arrived?
Yes in all three pregnancies we found out what we were having but didn’t tell anyone. It made it interesting when people would comment with “Oh I bet it’s a girl!”.
My best friend was convinced I was having a girl in my third pregnancy. She even called the baby Lily. Even people we knew were calling him Lily. She was absolutely convinced I was having a girl. We felt so awful keeping this big secret from her so when I had some pregnancy complications and needed scans late in the pregnancy we invited her along so she could see what we were having. She quickly saw he wasn’t a she before anyone had to say anything.
- Did you ever hear comments from friends or strangers about the gender of your child while you were pregnant?
All the time. Every single day. It made it hard because we knew exactly what we were having. I really disliked hearing “Oh I bet you are hoping for a girl” as if another boy was a runner’s up prize and not as great as having a girl.
Once my third son was born most people started with “Oh you will have to try again for a girl”, “Oh I bet you want a girl!”, “Im sorry it wasn’t a girl”.
- During each pregnancy, did you hope for a particular gender (even subconsciously)?
There is a little part of me that would love a daughter and to experience being a mum to a girl, so when we found out we were having another boy after being convinced he was a girl there were a few seconds of “Oh. I won’t get to experience a girl”. Then “PHEW! It’s a boy. I know boys. Boys are easy” kicked in. I think a daughter would scare me a little after having three boys and knowing boys inside out.
- Did you, or would you have considered, following a particular diet or timing conception to help you have a baby of a particular gender?
No. That never interested me. I was at the beach recently on holidays with the kiddies and we stopped for lunch. A lady stopped us to ask about our three boys (Miller has gorgeous curly hair and big blue eyes so we are stopped often). She pulled me aside to say she was sure I wanted a girl and this is how I could do it. She gave me book recommendations, told me what to eat and even went into very TMI subjects. I remember walking away thinking “I barely find the time to brush my hair and eat lunch these days”. She meant well but it amazes me how honest, helpful (and opinionated) some people are when it comes to genders of children.
- Did you or your partner experience any disappointment finding out that your child was a boy (if you wanted a girl) or girl (if you wanted a boy)?
My partner was very relieved Miller was a boy. He grew up in a house of boys so he only knows boys. I had the two seconds of being sad I wouldn’t experience a girl.
- What does a typical day in your family look like?
Each week is different whether it is a on or off week with the bigger kiddies. Regardless of the week our days are busy, noisy and messy! I generally drop the bigger kiddies off to school (an hour and half to two hour round trip most days) then come home to juggle Mr 2 year old and two businesses I own and co own. Mr 2 has decided he no longer likes naps so it makes the day interesting. Our days are spent at playgroup, swimming, playing games, the park etc. Then off we go back to school to pick up the older boys, come home and have afternoon tea and then spend the next two or so hours building Lego (soooo over Lego!) or go for a walk to the park before dinner at 5.30/6 and bed at 6.30/7. On the off weeks with the bigger kiddies it is exactly the same minus school drop off. I have them every afternoon rather than them going to after school care or the like. Weekends are the fun days! We love going out for their chosen sports, picnics, parks visit, sight-seeing around Canberra. We just get the boys out of the house and let them run. They are our family days and I love them!
- How do you think your family differs from a family with children all of the opposite gender, or a mixed gender family?
I often wonder about this. I often think we have a far more energetic, noisy and messy house due to three boys but then I see friends with girls and think perhaps we are all like that – the energy, noise and mess is just kids in general, regardless of gender.
- Do you think you have it better / worse / harder / easier than a parent of all girls?
I sometimes think I have it easier as I don’t have to have the “period talk” with my kiddies like I would if I had a daughter. That talk from my older cousin as a kid scarred me for life so I’m secretly grateful I won’t be having it! Haha.
But in all seriousness, I don’t think I have it any easier or harder due to my child’s gender.
- What’s your hot tip for a parent of all boys?
Invest in Dettol shares or the like. You will be keeping them in business from the amount of scrapes, cuts and general gross stuff you endure for the next 18 years. Have a great GP. They will become your best friend.
Honestly? Give them your time. Talk to them often. People often think because they are boys, they don’t talk to me and we don’t have a strong bond like I would if I had daughters (who says that right!?). It’s so not the case.
- Anything else you’d like to add?
Boys are truly awesome! How lucky am I that I have three of them.
Peta is a mum of three from Canberra. When she isn’t chasing after her boys she is cooking up a storm in the kitchen for her cooking blog or for the digital thermo mixing magazine she co-owns called The 4 Blades Magazine. If she is isn’t cooking she is dreaming of Bali, air shows and lollies.